Tesla and You: The Official Guide

Tesla and You: The Official Guide
I. What is Tesla?
II. Why should I use Tesla?
III. How should I use Tesla?
IV. Advanced Tesla Tips & Suggestions
I. What is Tesla?
Firstly, before going any deeper into what tesla is, let’s look at the actual definition of the word tesla:
tes·la 1 (slv)
n. Abbr. T
The unit of magnetic flux density in the International System of Units, equal to the magnitude of the magnetic field vector necessary to produce a force of one newton on a charge of one coulomb moving perpendicular to the direction of the magnetic field vector with a velocity of one meter per second
I have no idea what most of that means but it does sound awesome.
Not only is the word tesla fun to say, but it’s the single weapon that every Necron player should always be using. Always.
Perhaps you’re wondering at this point, “Scoffer, why should I use exclusively one weapon, when the Necron codex has a large arsenal of abilities at their disposal?”
Well, look no further, concerned Necron. All you need is Tesla.
II. Why should I use Tesla?
There are many reasons why you, as a Necron, should use tesla. However, let’s flip perspectives for a moment and ask ourselves, “Why shouldn’t I use Tesla?” The most commonly accepted answers to this question are:
1. Because I am a failure at using Necrons.
2. Because I am not interested in succeeding as a Necron player.
3. Because I am misinformed of the true power of tesla.
– And you’ve come to the right place!
4. Because I have never used tesla.
5. Because I am not a Necron player, and do not have access to tesla.
– If so, simply sell your army and buy some Necrons.
6. Because I use wraiths, and therefore have no interest in the true power of my codex.
So now we understand the most common reasons why people don’t use tesla. It’s obvious that all of these excuses are pathetic, but that’s exactly what this guide is for!
Now, onto the meat of this section: Why should we use tesla?
#1 – Tesla has the potential to hit more things than it has actual shots.
– This is a given. As a Necron player you want to hit as many things as possible, and tesla helps you do just that.
#2 – tesla inflicts damage on your target.
– This assists you in killing your foes, which is how a Necron player beats everyone else.
#3 – Tesla is really, REALLY fun to say.
– Seriously. Say it. Tesla.
These reasons are reason enough to understand why we should use tesla. However, this knowledge is useless if we have no idea HOW to use tesla!
III. How should I use tesla?
Before going into detail, i’ll quickly summarize how to use tesla for those who are too lazy to read my entire guide.

USE tesla: 1. Always 2. Fastly 3. Well

Those who read only that short summation will have a slight advantage over those who don’t know how to use tesla. However, I suggest reading on.
#1 – Use tesla always.
– ALWAYS. Take a black marker pen, go to your codex weapons summary and remove every entry that doesn’t contain the world tesla. You wont be needing any of those and taking them as an option will only reduce the amount of tesla you can fit into your list. “But wraiths can’t use tesla!” This is a weak excuse that is only used by people who are mentally unstable and still believe 6th edition of 40k still has some form of close combat. When you get closer to mastering the use of tesla you will quickly realize there is no one left alive to initiate close combat. You can also set up tesla chains by positioning your units next to each other and your army will become a tesla machine gun.
A visual of how to use tesla always.
#2 – Use tesla fastly.
– This is important. Anybody can roll dice when firing shots but it takes a master to roll dice for tesla. In order to achieve this, I suggest avoiding rolling dice like “normal” people and introduce a dramatic flare to your own rolling. This becomes more apparently when your opponent doesn’t fully appreciate what tesla does or how devastating it can be on their own army. Throwing the dice down, quickly scanning the results, adding a bucket load of more dice and then rolling to wound will confuse your opponent to the point they simply believe your single tesla gun caused 152 wounds on the squad. Find your own unique ways to use tesla as fastly as possible to overwhelm your opponents and remember: A fastly tesla is a winning tesla.
Here we see what your opponent should look like when tesla is used fastly.
– Here we can see that a necron player used tesla so fastly, that his opponent has only one tactical advantage left open to him.
#3 – Use tesla well.
– This is more about finesse than anything else. As you may know, tesla requires multiple shots coming from every angle in order to truly crush your opponents. If you have been following this guide religiously and seen the use of tesla fastly you will know that there is a few seconds between you rolling the dice to them hitting the table which we will call “charge time”. during the charge time it is CRITICAL that the Necron player maximize the effectiveness of the tesla. There are three ways of doing this:
A. Set up a tesla salvo.
A must! Tesla’s charge time is perfect for yelling such things as “IMMA CHARGIN MAH TESLA” during the initial tesla fastly, and “IMMA FIRE MAH TESLA” when the dice are launched. This will cause the enemy to panic, as they know a tesla salvo is being charged or fired. Psychological warfare is effective warfare.
B. Force your opponent to shift defense counters.
The common argument against using tesla always, fastly and well is that tesla doesn’t have an AP value. As a result, players who are aware of the nonstop tesla onslaught will shift most of their defense on to high armored target to take the brunt of the attack while the smaller more delicate objective grabbing units will try to stay out of the way and use effective cover. The simple way to counter this is to use various phrases when rolling fastly to make the enemy think your tesla will hit a different unit. This can be accomplished by yelling “IMMA CHARGING MAH TERMINATOR KILLING TESLA AND NOT MY SMALL OBJECTIVE GRABBING SQUAD TESLA”. The enemy will then shift their small scoring units into the middle of your gun line as they believe you will be trying to kill the terminators instead and you are free to rain tesla-based doom upon their heads.
C. Plan for your next tesla.
– A round of tesla shooting should always be followed up with a round of tesla shooting. Therefore, as a tesla is being charged the Necron player should be considering his next move. Will it be a strength 7 tesla destructor, or a strength 5 tesla carbine? As Olmec says, the choices are yours, and yours alone!
IV. Advanced Tesla Tips & Suggestions
1. Practical uses for Tesla outside of 40k
Tesla isn’t just for 40k! Tesla is a way of life, and should be applied to every possible situation. Here is just a small sampling of ways you, the Necon player, can use tesla:
– Not popular with the ladies? Impress them with tesla!
– Store owner giving you an unfair deal on a trade? Remind them you have tesla!
– A little overweight? Burn those pounds away with a Tesla workouts! (Mr Smith lost 17 pounds and 6 inches off the waist with tesla!)
2. Tesla your sig!
Show your Tesla pride and post this in your sig:
(v0_0)>D ====> ====> ====> IMMA FIRE MAH TESLA!!
Those who state they’re charging, and/or firing their tesla in their forum signature gain a distinct advantage. Those who see that person’s signature are intimidated in advance. If you are met by that person on the table, they will likely flee as they have been made aware that you can and will use tesla. The following is a completely* legit recording of a game that demonstrates what adding tesla to your sig can do for your reputation:
Bob: “hey, he’s not a very good player, you should win this easily”
Franz: “lol dood thats Scoffer”
Bob: “so? hes not got any wraiths and you have 500 more points on the table than he does”
Franz: “ya but he has tesla”
Bob: “…..”
Franz: “Tesla”
Now get out there and tesla always, fastly, and well!


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