Guide to Codex Creep

Welcome to Scoffers guide to Warhammer 40k Codex Creep. Within this guide you will find several ways that will help you deal with Games Workshops rapid release schedule that we have been bombarded with over the past year or so. There will be tips on how to deal with knee jerk reactions, impulse buying and how to handle "that there internet" and some advice on how to stay ahead with the latest 5 minute wonders as well as how you should properly display your outrage at the latest release. So sit back, take a bunch of Prozac, boot up your favourite ranting forum and prepare to annihilate another keyboard with your views on the matter.
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Contents:
1. What is codex creep?
2. What options do I have for new releases?
3. Should I play with this new formation?
4. How should I properly present my outrage of something I don't like?
5. Disclaimer
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1. What is codex creep?

For most of us this is something that is fairly self explanatory but for those of you who have never heard the term or are mentally challenged let me explain. Codex creep is hard to explain for the uninitiated but essentially its where the codex (or army) that you use gets gradually worse as a newer codex is released. An example of this would be if Steve purchased his shiny new Space Marine codex in January, its the best codex ever released and deliberately sets out to show all the other armies why they are inferior. Steve proceeds to butcher everyone in his local gaming club, his models are unkillable and he has lost several of his friends due to his army being overpowered. Life is good for Steve, he doesn't need to learn anything of tactics because his army simply rolls over his opponents and he wins simply by turning up. Uh oh, what's this? Its now February and Paul has turned up with his newly released Eldar list and is challenging Steve to a game. Steve saunters up to the table and casually throws his list in his opponents face with a smug grin, there is no way he can loose, he is playing marines. 2 hours later Steve is sat in the car park, head in hands crying to himself and wondering why Games Workshop hates him. His army has become unplayable despite nothing changing in his codex but he has lost his Crown of Dominance in his local gaming circle and there is nothing for him to do except declare the new Eldar codex to be overpowered, broken and morally questionable while he considers which faction of War Machine he will be getting instead.

That right there, is codex creep. In the example above Steve could of course try changing his list, finding ways to beat the newly released codex or learning some actual tactics but I think we all know the only real option open to Steve at this point is to rage quit.



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2. What options do I have for new releases?

When Games workshop does release something new the clear first reaction is to panic. Obviously you should immediately jump on the internet and see what everyone is saying about it, preferably within the first 4 hours after release because this is the sweet spot where everyone has had ample time to test these changes and work out why your life has been ruined. So your favourite army now has a shiny new book sitting in your local store, what should you do?

Option 1: Immediately you should purchase everything the internet said was broken and over powered. Don't go off all half cocked and simply buy a squad, get 3 of them. 6 if you can convince your mortgage lender to give you more cash or if you have a small child to sell. It doesn't matter that by the time you actually get it painted that its no longer any good, just get lots of them. How often can the internet be wrong? 

Option 2: Don't buy anything! You are happy with the codex you currently own and its only been 2 years since the last one. Games Workshops expectations that you should spend £30 on a new book every 2 years for a game that you love is just going too far. Besides, you can't afford the rules for your own army because you need to buy another 205 scouts with terminator armour just because 40KRULEZLOLER over on warseer says they are awesome. Besides, your opponent will know the rules when you step up to the table and they can tell you how they work anyway. You are using the newest codex, you will win by default.

Option 3: Buy the codex only. Read it and determine what you think would be fun to play. Convert your old models to fit or buy some to try it out. Yea, I'm not even convincing myself with this argument
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3. Should I try this new formation?

If you have been following this guide closely you should by now understand that the people on the internet know what they are talking about. If a new codex comes out with 6 new formations you should only look at the one that is bathed in the most tears while ignoring the rest. You will occasionally skim over something that you have never tried before but don't be fooled. This is a trap set out by Games Workshop which will lead you down the rabbit hole they like to call "Forging the narrative". This is an evil place designed by Beelzebub himself that will lead you into far deeper places of depravity and survivors of this place (if survive they actually did) have been known to use phrases like "I just play for fun" and "This could be interesting to try out". These people are clearly a pox on our community and should be shunned at every opportunity.


You should also be warned about questioning these decisions the internet has made for you as this can also lead you to finding yourself with more friends and better games. When someone says "look, I can assault turn 1 from a drop pod!" you should never question the fact that it will cost you almost 3,000 points to field it or that 90% of those points are wasted on crap units. All that matters is getting those 5 assault marines into assault turn 1. We should all know by now that there is nothing more fun in a game than deep striking a gargantuan creature turn 1 who happens to be armed with 6 apocalyptic size large blast D weapons that ignore cover, has a 2+ feel no pain (re-roll able of course) Toughness 9 and 17 wounds. Your opponent will congratulate you on your list building acumen and people will be lining up wanting to play against it. Your social status will rise, people will write books about your gaming success and with your new found fame and fortune you can marry a super model and drive a submarine to work.



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4. How should I properly present my outrage of something I don't like?

Despite the previous warning you have decided to flick through your new codex and read some of the other entries that are in there. You know how all the good stuff works but what are the remaining 100 pages or so in the book and what do they offer? Curiosity can be a dangerous and exciting thing but maybe, just maybe the internet missed something and you will find it. Like Indiana Jones you will have stumbled into the long forgotten temple of hidden treasures and using this treasure you will be crowned king of the internet by your adoring fans. Fingers trembling you gingerly turn the pages and there it is. Staring you in face. The one thing that will forever haunt your dreams, the thing that once seen can never be unseen. Those bastards. Those complete utter shit eating, plebeian degenerates down at GW headquarters made your favourite model WS6. 6 FOR FUCK SAKE! Clearly this should be at least a 7. How could they! Clearly this is a mistake that must be immediately remedied. Donning your super hero cloak and dimming the lights in your mothers basement you prepare your keyboard for the onslaught of your red-bull fuelled righteous fury you intend to subject the internet community to. But how should you start?

This has always been a tricky one to get right and most people still manage to get it wrong and not following correct protocols. Fear not readers, we shall try to offer you tips on how to express yourselves so that people will fully appreciate why you are right and the rest of the world are idiotic, dribbling morons. This works especially well with rules queries but some of these tips can be used when shouting your overall opinions as well.

1) Make your case by quoting rules. During your rant you will need to back up your statement by strategic position of actual rules within the Codex. Obviously this will not be the full rules, just a finely selected sub set of those rules to make your point more compelling. If you can, try to leave out the important bits and just focus on the one that makes your argument stronger. It also helps to leave out punctuation and misspell some of the words so that people will easily recognise your rage.

2) If you feel strongly about something type in all caps. It will emphasise the whole point you are trying to make and its easier for the casual reader to pick out the important bits. This also adds the impression that you know what you are talking about and will make people drop whatever they are doing at the time and read your post.

3) If someone does offer up a counter argument they must be stopped immediately. Nothing can distract the readers from your point and your point alone. It helps by calling into question their mental state and throwing around insults at every opportunity.

4) When replying to comments that people make questioning your reasoning try to say exactly the same thing in a slightly different way. If you do this often enough it will bring them round to your way of thinking. For example: Saves don't work like that, that's not how saves work, it's a save which this is not, saves work in a different way, if it was a save I would agree but this isn't, NOT SAVE! etc etc

5) If it looks like you are losing control of the argument try to derail it completely. Find something vaguely familiar in another book (doesn't matter if its a completely different game) and quote that as much as possible. Point out that if one army has it working this way yours should too, even though its a completely different option.

6) Practice as much as possible. The only way to get good at something is to keep doing it and this is true with rules arguments on the internet. Real pros can convince tau players that marker lights work the same way as the search light on their imperial guard chimera and this is something you should strive for.

And there we have it readers. This will win you every rules argument on the internet with no exceptions. You can now voice your opinion on those pages that you skimmed over while you were sat on the toilet and Games Workshop themselves (who have a dedicated team reading all of these comments) will already be in the process of drafting up your contract for the position of rules and codex writer.

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5. Disclaimer

For those new to the site this is meant to be satire, if you didn't pick this up yet you haven't been paying attention.

Following any of the rules set out by section 4 above makes you look like a dick. You all know who you are.

Seriously guys, buy the codex and try it before rage quitting and spouting random crap on forums about how broken the game is. Just try it, you might actually enjoy yourself.






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